Flash Gordon

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun FLASH aaaahhaaa!

Flash Gordon.  Well I grew up with it, having the same last name it was inevitable really, so there is much love for this film.  If you don't like cheese it would be wise to never see Flash Gordon.

Based on old 30's comics and TV serials this is very much a product of the late 70s.  Ridiculously colourful and set designs straight out of a boy's imagination it is an event for the eyes, which is good because the acting by the leads aren't great.  Sam J. Jones as Flash Gordon was clearly only cast for his hair.  No other reason, but he will always be Flash Gordon because he was never in anything else, he is an American football player who saves the world... he needed good hair.  Melody Anderson as Dale Arden very forgettable if it wasn't for the bogus lines like "Flash I love you, but we only have 14 hours to save the earth."  So bad its good (see craptacular).  The women in the film are just eye candy but not even that great at that.  The 'real' acting comes from Brian Blessed, playing himself once again, asVultan.  Oh Brian your so over the top it fits in with this flick.  There is a nice wee cameo from Richard O'Brien that makes me smile remembering how funny he was in the Crystal Maze.  Topol (not a rapper) as Dr. Hans Zarkov is the same sort of thing as the others, ridiculous and OTT.  But then in steps a mustachioed Timothy Dalton, this can only mean one thing... the acting big guns are out.  And yes its true Timothy Dalton rocks as Barin, rocks as in he plays the crazy of the film down just by being in it.   So that only leaves Ming played by Max von Sydow, an icon. He is quality.

So Queen scored the film and it is epic.  It is as mental as the rest of the film but of course has the classic song attached to it.  I do love the guitar solo wedding march.

Not much else to say other than it is by no means a serious film but it is a lot of fun and has a lot of nostalgia attached to it.

3 Jets Quarter backs outta 5

Batman Returns

1991 and Batman Returns in a Tim Burton film.  Batman was a Batman movie directed by Burton but this one is more like Batman in a Burton movie.  Batman's villains are now Penguin, Catwoman and, to some extent, Max Shreck.  I used to think this was the darkest film of the franchise but, since watching it recently, with that is lighter in many ways and has a lot of humour in it.

Anyway The Penguin.  Looks incredible and Danny DeVito is very good as him, he isn't the Penguin of the comics but he does what Burton wants him.  The similarity between him and Bats is very interesting, both are born into high society and have parent issues, although they deal with this issues differently.  Bruce Wayne becomes a Caped Crusader and the Penguin a circus freak.  But Oswald Cobblepot has good story around him and a good gang of goons that add a sinister circus theme to the movie.  The Penguin is a bit too much of, well of a penguin.  The animal person linkage is a bit too much in the case of this bird, the cat suffers less from this.  Penguin is at times very, very sleazy and dirty which I find funny now even when so of the gags very 'Carry On' at times.  Like when he mets Catwoman in his attic house and says something like, "just the pussy I was looking for", its such a bad joke but very funny.  He is very, very different from the comic because the comics' Penguin is more Burgess Meredith than monster.  I'm not against departing from the comics a bit, giving the Penguin a good story and motivation was good, but think that this might have been a bit too much.

Catwoman has some characterizations of a cat but they aren't as extreme as the Penguin.  The story arch of Selina Kyle to Catwoman is one of the best things in the film.  The comics didn't even do it, and no other film has done it since.  The relationship between Catwoman and Batman is excellent as is the Bruce and Selina one.  The cat bulgur is there and the sexy minx (ha! pun) is very much there.  She is similar to Batman and Wayne in the dual personality which works very well.  I can't say a lot about Catwoman other than she is probably my favourite Catwoman (anywhere, I mean Selina Kyle doesn't get a close up 'til the last half of the movie) and can only think of the nine lives and 'giving myself a bath' as a small gripe.  Michelle Pfeiffer rocked the part(s).

Batman is near enough the same (I liked how he is just sitting waiting for the Bat signal at the start of the picture) only a bit funny having a few jabs at Alfred (again Michael Gough is perfect) and great interaction with Michelle Pfeiffer's character.  But the Bat suit is epic.  Its my favourite from the movies.  The layered metal armour in somewhat of a human layout which is better than the human anatomy six pack thing.

Christopher Walken as Max Shreck.  Its Walken playing a bad business tycoon, nothing serious but does play a part in the origin of Catwoman and tries to get Penguin Major.  I just enjoy Walken but he could maybe have been left out.

All in all there is more Bat toys the Wilhem scream and a lot more humour and juxtapositioning of charcters and their quality.  Its a dark Christmas movie too which is fun and the music is very good in seting an atmosphere reflecting the content.  Its probably my second favourite and is rather a 3 star movie affiar.

So I'll give 3.5 remote-control Batmobiles outta 5