Flash Gordon

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun FLASH aaaahhaaa!

Flash Gordon.  Well I grew up with it, having the same last name it was inevitable really, so there is much love for this film.  If you don't like cheese it would be wise to never see Flash Gordon.

Based on old 30's comics and TV serials this is very much a product of the late 70s.  Ridiculously colourful and set designs straight out of a boy's imagination it is an event for the eyes, which is good because the acting by the leads aren't great.  Sam J. Jones as Flash Gordon was clearly only cast for his hair.  No other reason, but he will always be Flash Gordon because he was never in anything else, he is an American football player who saves the world... he needed good hair.  Melody Anderson as Dale Arden very forgettable if it wasn't for the bogus lines like "Flash I love you, but we only have 14 hours to save the earth."  So bad its good (see craptacular).  The women in the film are just eye candy but not even that great at that.  The 'real' acting comes from Brian Blessed, playing himself once again, asVultan.  Oh Brian your so over the top it fits in with this flick.  There is a nice wee cameo from Richard O'Brien that makes me smile remembering how funny he was in the Crystal Maze.  Topol (not a rapper) as Dr. Hans Zarkov is the same sort of thing as the others, ridiculous and OTT.  But then in steps a mustachioed Timothy Dalton, this can only mean one thing... the acting big guns are out.  And yes its true Timothy Dalton rocks as Barin, rocks as in he plays the crazy of the film down just by being in it.   So that only leaves Ming played by Max von Sydow, an icon. He is quality.

So Queen scored the film and it is epic.  It is as mental as the rest of the film but of course has the classic song attached to it.  I do love the guitar solo wedding march.

Not much else to say other than it is by no means a serious film but it is a lot of fun and has a lot of nostalgia attached to it.

3 Jets Quarter backs outta 5

Batman Returns

1991 and Batman Returns in a Tim Burton film.  Batman was a Batman movie directed by Burton but this one is more like Batman in a Burton movie.  Batman's villains are now Penguin, Catwoman and, to some extent, Max Shreck.  I used to think this was the darkest film of the franchise but, since watching it recently, with that is lighter in many ways and has a lot of humour in it.

Anyway The Penguin.  Looks incredible and Danny DeVito is very good as him, he isn't the Penguin of the comics but he does what Burton wants him.  The similarity between him and Bats is very interesting, both are born into high society and have parent issues, although they deal with this issues differently.  Bruce Wayne becomes a Caped Crusader and the Penguin a circus freak.  But Oswald Cobblepot has good story around him and a good gang of goons that add a sinister circus theme to the movie.  The Penguin is a bit too much of, well of a penguin.  The animal person linkage is a bit too much in the case of this bird, the cat suffers less from this.  Penguin is at times very, very sleazy and dirty which I find funny now even when so of the gags very 'Carry On' at times.  Like when he mets Catwoman in his attic house and says something like, "just the pussy I was looking for", its such a bad joke but very funny.  He is very, very different from the comic because the comics' Penguin is more Burgess Meredith than monster.  I'm not against departing from the comics a bit, giving the Penguin a good story and motivation was good, but think that this might have been a bit too much.

Catwoman has some characterizations of a cat but they aren't as extreme as the Penguin.  The story arch of Selina Kyle to Catwoman is one of the best things in the film.  The comics didn't even do it, and no other film has done it since.  The relationship between Catwoman and Batman is excellent as is the Bruce and Selina one.  The cat bulgur is there and the sexy minx (ha! pun) is very much there.  She is similar to Batman and Wayne in the dual personality which works very well.  I can't say a lot about Catwoman other than she is probably my favourite Catwoman (anywhere, I mean Selina Kyle doesn't get a close up 'til the last half of the movie) and can only think of the nine lives and 'giving myself a bath' as a small gripe.  Michelle Pfeiffer rocked the part(s).

Batman is near enough the same (I liked how he is just sitting waiting for the Bat signal at the start of the picture) only a bit funny having a few jabs at Alfred (again Michael Gough is perfect) and great interaction with Michelle Pfeiffer's character.  But the Bat suit is epic.  Its my favourite from the movies.  The layered metal armour in somewhat of a human layout which is better than the human anatomy six pack thing.

Christopher Walken as Max Shreck.  Its Walken playing a bad business tycoon, nothing serious but does play a part in the origin of Catwoman and tries to get Penguin Major.  I just enjoy Walken but he could maybe have been left out.

All in all there is more Bat toys the Wilhem scream and a lot more humour and juxtapositioning of charcters and their quality.  Its a dark Christmas movie too which is fun and the music is very good in seting an atmosphere reflecting the content.  Its probably my second favourite and is rather a 3 star movie affiar.

So I'll give 3.5 remote-control Batmobiles outta 5

Batman

The highest grossing film of 1989.  The highest paid actor of all time ($60 million for Jack Nicholson).  My personal favourite Bat Film.  This is a classic in cinema, a classic in comic book movies and I love it.  I mean Batman versus the Joker with no other distractions... Game on.

Moving away from the 1960's TV show, Warner made a dark Batman film, it looks like it was always night in the film, I think it is.  Check out Bruce Wayne.  Michael Keaton hit the nail on the head with Bruce, he's a conflicted character.  He doesn't about it like they do in the Nolan flicks but in this case less is so much more here.  Any time he is in the cave he is swamped by the murder of his parents, which essentially why he becomes Batman.  As Batman he is much the same, with hardly any dialogue and no origin story it makes the character more interesting.  This is probably my favourite thing about it.  Tim Burton didn't waste anytime with Batman's origin, other than the odd flash back of his parents being gunned down, and because of this Batman is incredible, and very dark.  I think making the Joker as the killer of the Wayne's was good for the film.  It asks questions of Batman's motives.  Is he after the Joker because he is his parents killer of because he's the bad guy?  A change from the 'canon' that works well and I like.

Jack Nicholson.  Well he's been the Joker for ever so no need to go on... But here's what I like.  The character is chaos and terror.  When i watch  him not sure if the gun says bang or has a bullet in it.  When I read the Joker in the comics, he is the guy that captures Batman and ups a ticking box in front of him.  And the box shots a pie in Batman's face and this Joker is that Joker.  He makes me laugh and worry about what's going next.  "Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight" is the best line ever written but when he has his acid flower and the TV commercial "Love that Joker" I think its the only bad thing I can find.  Joker gets nearly all the screen time and, well, I think he earns it.  Jack Nicholson is so good as him.  The origin story is clearly based on 'The Killing Joke' and while I think it works great for the movie and adds more to the Joker than just a guy who looks like the clown, I think the Joker should be more mysterious, even The Killing Joke ended with a nod at the story not necessarily the factual origin of the clown.  Still no origins for Batman and Joker would ask a lot from audiences.

Kim Basinger (rhymes with chasing her) is the damsel in distress, which isn't all that but the film didn't need her fro anything other than screaming and looking good.

I like Billy Dee Williams as Harvey Dent.  He's never Two-Face so it's great to see a good actor take one part of the character well.  He is hardly in it though which is disappointing especially since he never got the chance to be Two-Face

Michael Gough is great as Alfred, he's a butler and a father figure.  He's the right choice for the part.

The film has the look of a comic, Gotham isn't just New York or Chicago, its Gotham.  It looks and feels like it needs a masked vigilante.

The music is iconic, like John Williams' Superman score, Danny Elfman's score is super.

I love this film so things like hardly any Commissioner Gordon don't bother me or the fact that Gotham and some Bat transport look like models or Batman does a bit of killing (he used to carry gun in the early comics before the character was defined to what he is now) aren't a big deal.  Its technically a 3 star movie but the look and feel means I like it better than that.  Its still the only Bat movie with one baddie which is why I like it so much, the bad guy and good guy get the right amount of screen time.

4 Bob the Goons outta 5

Batman The Movie

The Dark Knight Rises hit the cinemas to conclude Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy and I thought that having a look back over the Batman movies of old would be a good way to start my reviewing.  So lets start with Batman  The Movie.

1966 saw the spin-off movie from 20th Century Fox's Batman TV show hit the screens and, well, the TV show had 45 minute long episodes with cliffhangers to bring the audience back the next time to see the conclusion of the story.  So in reality the TV show was producing full hour and half story lines.  They were basically making movies only showing them over a couple of weeks.  Batman The Movie is essentially two episodes back to back with no interruption and 'tune in next week' voice over.

But what about the film? Well being a Batman fan I loved seeing the Rogues Gallery of Villains.  Cesar Romero as The Joker is fun but not exactly the dark and unpredictable clown of Tim Burton and Chris Nolan, but then it was a kids show.  The Joker is probably the worst thing about the film as he's not the Joker of the comics but the other villains are, pretty much, especially when he was so much better in the TV show.  He is little more than one of the goons.  Lee Meriwether as Catwoman is brilliant, possibly my favourite Catwoman, sexy, seductive and silly, in a comic book type of way.  Burgess Meredith as Penguin is hilarious, he is totally the comic book penguin (I love Burgess he is class in anything and as the penguin with the walk and the laugh, top drawer).  And Frank Gorshin as the Riddler.  Well he is the riddler. Adam West just having a good time in tights, he's a good Bruce Wayne but he's just Adam West in tights when he is Bats.  Burt Ward plays Robin as Robin was in the comics so thats fine...  Both I think are just happy to have a few more dollars and having a good time making those notes.

The film is a comedy no doubt, so all the fans of the Nolan Batman call it camp and stupid, but thats what it was supposed to be, but some people just don't leave it be... ''Sometimes you just can't get rid of a bomb".  But when everything is labelled, like the Bat Shark Repellant Spray, why would you think its going to be serious.

I like this film it does what a spin-off should, has all the good moments from the TV show, plays well as a stupid comedy and is just fun, and has all the characters you want in it.  The "POW", "SMASH", "BOFF" are hilarious (they are in the comics so we know it observed the source material).  It is a 3 star movie but it achieves what it means to so I don't have any complaints about that.

In a sentence... Dumb, but fun.

3 nana's outta 5

So I've seen a lot of movies and, well, I have some opinions about them.  Therefore this blog shall be the outlet for my opinions of a bunch movies I've seen.

Deal with it.